Cara's Angel
by MadeOfWin35
Summary: Love is the only thing that can bring Cara back to the Seeker's side. Cara/Kahlan, mostly one-sided. Now in-progress. Spoilers for season 2.
1. Chapter 1

_**[A/N: I love me some Cara/Kahlan, I especially enjoyed that when Cara was getting tortured the first face she thought of was Kahlan's, (which is the entire inspiration for this fic.) Coincidence? I think not. I also love me some Cara/Dahlia…but, torturing Cara, Dahlia is not such a good move and Cara's BFF/GF will ~kill~ you, biatch.] **_

_Cara's Angel._

_She had loved Dahlia. They had been there for each other ever since they had been small, helpless girls. They had shielded each other from the horrors of their new, brutal life; and, they had been the other's strength as they earned their agiels. They were more than just sisters, they were lovers, they were friends. Dahlia had always been there; she knew Cara better than she knew herself. She was just doing what they had always done: eradicating the weaknesses from the other's personality. _

_The deformity in Cara's personality was her love and her loyalty to the Seeker. Dahlia would make her bleed until she renounced him. The chink in her red leather was her devotion to the Mother Confessor, the most hated enemy of all Mord Sith. Dahlia would whip Cara until the fire of hatred returned to her eyes whenever the name of Kahlan Amnell was mentioned in her presence. The stupid affection she felt for the Wizard would be beaten out of her as well until all that remained of Cara was the Mord Sith she had been. _

_Dahlia's weakness was her love for Cara._

_She had been searching desperately for a way to bring Cara back into the fold of her red-clad sisters, to return her to her rightful and exalted position of Mord Sith. She had been alone ever since Cara's sisters had brutally cut off her hair and left her for dead. Though she took several lovers, none of them had the same fiery passion as her Cara. "Mistress Cara" was one of the most infamous Mord Sith in the history of the sisters of the agiel. She was a favorite of Lord Darken Rahl, known well for her enjoyment in inflicting pain for even the most minor infractions. Dahlia worshipped her, she admired her devotion to her master, her lust for battle, her tough armor. _

_She loved her and that was why Cara was hanging by her wrists, being re- "broken". The reason she was beaten senseless. The reason she was struck repeatedly with agiels. The reason she was being tortured. And Dahlia was the one doing it, coating her brutal actions with sweet, hollow words._

"_Cara." Through the haze of pain, she could hear Dahlia's voice. It sounded faint and far away; she wasn't sure if this were reality or a dream. "My love." A soft, ungloved hand caressed her face, traced a finger along her jaw line. "You're home now." Dahlia kissed her collarbone. "I will make you strong again." A whip wrapped around Cara's leg; when Dahlia pulled the metal spikes tore flesh, and Cara bit her lip to keep from crying out._

"_I love you." She moved so quickly Cara's eyes didn't have time to register the movement before she felt a searing pain travel up her leg. This time she couldn't hold back a cry._

"_Those people made you weak!" Dahlia spat, her voice thickly coated with venom. "It's only a whip. Don't you remember all the fun you and I have had with whips?" Her face was only inches away from the other woman's; she could feel her breath on her cheek. The whip coiled tighter, cutting off the circulation._

"_They didn't make me weak," Cara said, but her voice was strained. One of her ribs had been broken and it hurt to talk. But Dahlia definitely heard her because she slapped the other woman hard across the face. "I've seen what love can do; it can do anything." The agiel struck her where the broken rib was; she screamed. _

_For most of her life Cara had believed that love made a person weak. It was something easily exploited when it came to breaking someone. She'd seen it enough times to understand that loving someone would not end well. To love is to destroy. _And a Mord Sith's power came from hate, not love. Hate was good, love was bad.

She remembered a couple the Mord Sith had tried to break for Lord Rahl's pleasure. The girl's betrothed had begged them to stop, going so far as to say, _"Do anything you want with me, kill me, I don't care, just let her go." _Cara had exploited this, tricking him into believing he would get his wish. Then Garen had snapped the girl's neck in front of him. The girl, her eyes full of terror, had mouthed, _I love you,_ only a moment before her death. After that the man gave up, it was as if the light in his soul had been extinguished. He no longer reacted to the attentions of the Mord Sith and in disgust they had killed him.

Cara realized now that was love. Sacrifice. That man had been willing to die to protect the person he loved. Cara had seen it as a weakness. Being a Mord Sith meant you looked out for yourself, no one else. It was about survival of the fittest.

She thought of her friends…her family. Kahlan. Richard. Zedd. She saw their faces in her mind's eye. Would they miss her now that she was gone? Would they search for her, try to rescue her? No probably not. Her life was not important. It never had been and never would be. She was just one of the many replaceable parts in Darken Rahl's war machine. A tool. A living, breathing killing machine. With the Seeker she had felt like she mattered. It had been strange at first; they had treated her like a human being and she was used to being treated like an object. She hadn't-and still didn't-know how to react to that. She had just been exploring her new niche in the world and know it would be taken away from her.

An agiel snapped Cara out of her memories and she cried out in anguish.

How could Dahlia do this to her when she said she loved her? "This isn't love," she whispered. Something changed in Dahlia's eyes, could it be fear? "If you…" Cara took a wheezing breath, "Love me you would never do this to me." Dahlia's eyes turned quietly furious, she struck Cara on her sides with two agiels.

"Love is the reason I'm doing this. Can't you see?" Tears formed at the corner of Dahlia's eyes. She pressed her lips to Cara's. Automatically Cara kissed back. "I'm lost without you." She placed her hands on either side of her face. "I won't let you grow weak."

Cara laughed harshly. She refused to be beaten down, to be broken. She was strong now. "If you really loved me, you would never have taken part in my humiliation. You joined the sisters as they hacked off my braid and left me for dead." The broken rib was unbearably painful, but she ignored it as she spoke. "Why would you think I'd want to come back?"

Dahlia took a step back like she'd been struck. This wasn't Cara talking. It was the weakness talking. Weakness that needed to be beaten out of her; weakness that needed to be destroyed before it took Cara with it completely. She struck her across the face with her agiel, leaving a livid bruise. Cara already had a black eye. She would cover her body in bruises if that's what it took.

"Don't leave me. Please don't leave me." Dahlia was desperately afraid Cara would leave her behind. The past few months without her had been torture. She wouldn't allow Cara to abandon her, not after all they'd been through. She resumed breaking Cara, but her heart wasn't in it. She let Cara slip off into her own world.

_Kahlan._

_Cara could feel the Mother Confessor's warm arms wrapped tightly around her. She could smell the faint scent of soap on her snow white skin and feel the softness of her white dress against her cheek. When she looked up at her, Kahlan's face was bathed in a beautiful, golden light, like the last rays of a dying sun. She looked more beautiful and perfect than she remembered._

"_Cara." She spoke her name; it sounded like music to her tortured ears._

_Kahlan bent her head down, soft dark tresses caressing Cara face as she kissed her. It was a soft, gentle kiss, nothing like with a Mord Sith. There was no desire for dominance, no power struggle. It was full of love; a feeling of warmth spread throughout Cara's body. After too brief a moment Kahlan pulled away and Cara saddened at the loss of the other woman's lips against hers._

"_I made a mistake."_

_Kahlan looked puzzled. "What do you mean?" She smoothed back the hair from Cara's face._

_Cara's head shifted on the Mother Confessor's lap to get a better view of her face. "I loved her and she betrayed me."_

_Kahlan smiled gently, looking like a angel; in a way she was, she was Cara's angel. "If you loved her…that isn't a mistake. Loving someone is never wrong, Cara."_

"_She was able to deceive me because of it."_

"_That doesn't make loving her a mistake." She caressed her face, her hand coming to rest along her throat. Only a few months before that touch would have made Cara shudder inwardly with fear. The only true threat to a Mord Sith was a Confessor's touch. Now she relished the feel of the soft, warm skin there. If Kahlan confessed her, she would take all that Cara was, just like the Mord Sith took all she was when they broke her. _

_But she was already Kahlan's so it didn't matter anymore what her touch could do. She already had all of her. _

"_I wish I could stay with you forever. I'm so lost."_

"_Lost? Why are you lost?" Kahlan ran a loving hand along the other woman's arm; it was a soothing gesture and Cara instantly felt better. _

"_I'm going to forget; I'm going to break."_

_Kahlan made relaxing sounds, like alleviating a child's fear from a nightmare. "You won't break. Love will keep you strong. Never forget that, Cara." She kissed her forehead and whispered, "I believe in you."_

_That was why Cara loved her. She had faith in her. Kahlan could have killed her, she could have justly taken her life for the murder of her sister and the murders of countless others. But she hadn't, instead she had forgiven her. She had believed in Cara when Cara didn't believe in herself._

_She pulled her down for another kiss. This time it was more desperate. She wanted to hold onto this heaven for as long as possible. She wanted it to be real._

"_Cara, don't cry."_

_She sniffed. "I'm not crying. There's just something in my eye." But Kahlan could see right through her. _

"_Don't go," Kahlan murmured into her golden hair._

The pain was too much to bear. She felt a knife slice through her hand, cutting down to bone. She screamed her agony.

"_Cara! Cara! Cara!" Kahlan's voice sounded frantic. "You have to stay strong. Richard, Zedd, and I, we need you, Cara. You matter." She clutched the Mord Sith to her body. "You're our family. No matter what happens." It sounded like Kahlan was crying. The angel was crying. "I will always believe in you. I will never turn you away."_

_She felt lost. Confused. Dazed. The image of her angel began to waver; the light started to fade._

"_Please." Kahlan's voice sounded broken, like she was the one breaking into a million pieces. "Please fight."_

"_I love you," Cara whispered as the last of the light faded. "Kahlan." It was dark, the light had been extinguished, the angel was gone._

Dahlia was screaming. "Stop saying her name!"

"Dahlia!" Darken Rahl yelled, ordering another Mord Sith to get Dahlia off of Cara. "She's had enough, Dahlia."

Cara opened her swollen eyes enough to watch Dahlia be carried away.

"Still fighting, are you, Cara?" He clicked his tongue. "Do you really think you won't break?" He moved closer to her, only inches separated them. "We will make you strong again."

She was left in peace after that, until the next day when it would begin again in earnest. And the next day…and the next…until she was either broken or dead.

She knew love could overcome anything, but in the end she would break. She would shatter and nothing, not even love, would be able to put the pieces back together again.

**[A/N: I'm not quite sure how I like the end result. I've read a lot of good Cara fics recently and it's making me really unsure about this. It might be a little OOC, esp. on Dahlia's part because I haven't seen this episode since it aired. Please review. I really love going into my inbox and hearing from readers. Right now I'm considering doing a sequel if enough people enjoy this.]**


	2. Chapter 2

**[A/N: I originally planned to do this story as a sequel, but I couldn't come up with a better title so I'm extending the one-shot into a multi-chapter fic. This chapter was really hard to write. I wasn't sure what Kahlan's reaction would be and I hope her response is believable. Cara also posed a problem because of the dark magic controlling her. But since love is the most powerful magic of all, I wrote her as being conflicted. The dark magic has yet to completely overcome her feelings for Kahlan.]**

When Kahlan laid down to sleep, it felt strange not having the other woman laying next to her. She felt lonely. Kahlan drifted to the empty space where Cara should have been; sorrow clouded her beautiful, blue eyes. She shuddered to imagine the horrors Cara had faced; the awful pain that had transformed her once more into one of Darken Rahl's slaves.

Zedd had told her and Richard the story of Cara's capture and how she had tricked him into believing she was still loyal to the Seeker; he had trusted her and now Darken Rahl had the Stone of Tears. He had told them of the Powerful Magic used by the Sisters of the Dark to finally break her, magic which was almost irreversible. He had told them of how down in the dank dungeons he had been able to hear her horrific screams of pain and terror. He left out the part about Cara screaming Kahlan's name. Even if he had never completely trusted the blonde woman, he still held her in some respect. Her feelings were no else's business.

As Kahlan ruminated on all the First Wizard had said, she looked up at the night sky, blanketed by thousands of stars. Part of her hoped wherever she was Cara was staring up at the same vault of heaven. She knew she was being silly, but she hadn't been able to get Cara off her mind since the blonde woman had stolen the Stone of Tears for her despicable master . At first Kahlan had felt betrayed-as though Cara had been a spy all along. Then Zedd had told them the whole story and Kahlan felt sorrow weighing down her shoulders.

Cara was dead.

She had to accept the fact that the beautiful, snarky, feisty woman she had come to love was never coming back. The person she had known had been destroyed by Darken Rahl. And for that, she swore silently to herself, he would pay dearly.

_Stop pretending like my life is more important than yours!_ Cara had shouted when they both

were trapped in the Tomb. As she thought about the event, she remembered Cara calling her "friend," albeit hesitantly. A small smile graced her lips for a brief second. Cara was always loath to admit her feelings for Kahlan, Richard, and Zedd. Rather than find it annoying, the Mother Confessor found it incredibly endearing.

Her chin trembled and she hastily wiped the tears away. Cara was never going to call her friend or anything remotely nice ever again. Most likely the next time she and Cara met face to face one of them would die. She imagined Cara's body still and lifeless; imagined those lips never speaking another sarcastic comment again; imagined those eyes never meeting hers again with a hint of challenge; imagined those hands never again pulling her close for warmth.

She didn't even realize she was sobbing until she felt warm arms wrap around her tightly. For a split second she thought it was Cara, but it was only Richard.

"What's wrong?" he asked gently.

"Cara," was all Kahlan could manage as sobs wracked her body.

He brushed her hair away from her tearstained face. "It'll be okay."

"Richard, she's gone."

"Zedd found a spell, Kahlan. It'll undo what Darken Rahl has done to her."

"You can't know for sure it'll work."

"I believe in Zedd."

Kahlan nodded numbly. She didn't truly believe it would fix everything. Magic had a strange ability to cause more problems than it solved.

That night, Richard slept alongside her, his arms wrapped around her. She loved Richard, but it wasn't the red-clad arms she was used to and nightmares haunted her dreams.

Cara looked up at the night sky, noticing how the stars seemed to sparkle like diamonds. She had gotten Darken Rahl the elusive Stone of Tears, regained the respect of her sisters, and had Dahlia by her side.

She should be happy.

She wasn't precisely certain what "happy" meant for a Mord Sith. She had status, she had pleased her master and reaped the rewards, and she had her childhood love next to her. Wasn't that the ideal scenario of happiness for a Mord Sith? She felt…restless. As if something important were missing or if she had an urgent matter to attend to.

If she was honest with herself she had felt this disquiet for a long time. Long before she had been lured into joining the Seeker. She felt disgusted with herself. How could she have let herself be so _weak?_ Helping those less fortunate than herself, teaching idiots how fight in a battle, tending to wounded. This was not the Mord Sith way. What had come over her?

A pair of brilliant blue eyes suddenly flashed in her mind's eye.

She grabbed her agiels, hard, feeling the pain slice up her arm and fan out through her body.

Sometimes her time with the Seeker seemed like a dream. A mindless, stupid, impossible dream. Dahlia spoke about her exploits with the Seeker in a disgusted undertone. Then she would caress her face or meet her eyes and the feeling that something was horribly wrong would go away. But not for long.

"Cara," Dahlia said by way of greeting as she slunk up behind her. "Is anything wrong?"

"No. Go back to bed." Cara's voice was cold and hard. It was the voice of a Mord Sith.

Dahlia still lurked behind her. She ran her hands along her lover's shoulder blades. "You're tense, perhaps I could do something to release the tension?" she purred suggestively in her ear.

Cara whipped around so fast Dahlia didn't have time to blink. She slammed her against a tree, one hand wrapped around her throat. Their relationship had always been tinged with violence. Hatred and pain were part of being a Mord Sith.

"What can I do to please you, Mistress?" Dahlia's asked, the brief hurt in her eyes replaced with a smoldering desire.

Cara couldn't suppress a smirk from gracing her lips. She slammed an agiel hard against the other woman's thigh. The moan Dahlia let out caused waves of heat to travel down Cara's body. The blond woman stepped back and suddenly slapped her so hard she fell to the ground. She knew exactly how Dahlia liked it: she liked it to hurt.

"Hit me again," she whispered.

Cara struck her. "If I remember correctly _I_ give the orders."

Dahlia stood up and kissed her roughly. With the other woman kissing her, Cara was usually able to forget the strange feeling of wrongness. But not tonight. When she crashed Dahlia's lips to hers, she imagined Kahlan's. When she let her hand roam over Dahlia's back she found the scars of a Mord Sith when she wanted flawless, porcelain skin. She moved her hand to her hair, but instead of dark, wild strands, she found a tightly coiled braid. As her hand traveled down to her thighs she didn't find the scar she was looking for. Cara pulled back and Dahlia's questioning eyes met hers. Cara looked away. These eyes were dull, they weren't the sapphire depths she longed to stare into.

She viciously shoved Dahlia away from her. It was wrong, all wrong.

"Does the sight of me displease you?" the other woman asked, her voice full of hurt.

Cara didn't answer; her hand went to her agiel. She hated Kahlan Amnell with her entire being. The Mother Confessor had made her into a weakling. For that she would pay. She turned back to her fellow sister.

"I don't want to do this in the goddamn forest," Cara said. "Leaves in my hair are not welcome." A memory flashed in her mind's eye: picking leaves out of Richard's hair after he and the Mother Confessor… "Let's go back inside," she said abruptly, zipping up her top. Dahlia followed obediently behind.

**[A/N: Review and let me now if Kahlan's reaction and Cara's conflicting feelings (despite Powerful Magic) seem believable or not.]**


	3. Chapter 3

**[A/N: Forgot to mention in first chapter: I OWN NOTHING. I'm just borrowing them for a little femslashing. This chapter has taken me forever, after writing it and re-writing it three times it still didn't fit so I had to come up with something completely different and I'm still think its sub-par. Also I didn't know how to spell radahann (clearly), but I figure everyone should know what I'm talking about, the collar that stops Kahlan's magic.]**

The Mord Sith were spread throughout the forest, hands on their agiels, ready for battle. Their target was easy and the bait even better. With Cara at the helm, this trap would be sprung and Lord Rahl would get his heart's desire: Kahlan Amnell, the Mother Confessor.

Kahlan had told Richard and Zedd that she had wanted to clean off the day's bloody grime. It was how she found herself sitting on a fallen branch in front of a picturesque lake. She hastily wiped away the tears starting to form at the corner of her eyes.

She wasn't going to cry, she told herself resolutely.

Over the past several days, even since Richard had held her while she wept, the Seeker and the Wizard had been tiptoeing around her. Richard's face showed his concern every time he looked at her and Zedd had taken to telling her amusing stories from his days as a young Wizard.

She was simply fed up.

She couldn't stand to be a second longer around them so she'd lied easily about wanting to bathe. With a grimace she realized just how easy it was becoming to lie to Richard. He might be the Seeker, but he was oblivious most of the time. Neither man could understand that she'd just lost her best friend to Darken Rahl.

Kahlan missed having another woman around, even if said woman did not grasp some of the more basic human emotions. Cara might not have understood helping others in need or teaching people how to protect themselves when they had a quest to finish, but she had been learning. Now all that had been stripped away like an ugly scab, leaving a bleeding wound in its wake.

As if her thoughts summoned her, the very woman in question appeared.

"Cara?" Kahlan asked hesitantly, her mind whirling. She wondered if she were dreaming.

"Kahlan, you're in danger."

The Mother Confessor stood up, white dress trailing along the ground, and approached the other woman. She gently reached out a hand to touch her face. The other woman stiffened briefly before allowing the contact. Kahlan hands explored her face, thumb gently rubbing at a now almost healed bruise still visible beneath the cosmetics.

"Cara," Kahlan breathed her name; it sounded half like a sigh or a breeze stirring the tree tops.

"You're in danger. I have to get you out of here," Cara repeated, her green eyes staring into the blue depths of the Mother Confessor's.

"Zedd said Darken Rahl broke you with Powerful Magic."

"It didn't work," Cara said, her voice carefully flat. "Look." She held the Stone of Tears up before her eyes and placed it in Kahlan's waiting hands.

"But…how?" Kahlan asked, her eyes full of tears and amazement.

Cara looked away as though it pained her to speak of her re-breaking. "I don't know… The agiel didn't work so he threatened to kill you if I didn't get the Stone. I took it from the old man," her lips started to quirk into a smile. Zedd had never been a match for Mord Sith. "But now Darken Rahl is after you. He's already sent Mord Sith to capture you."

"Richard and Zedd! We have to go back to camp!" Kahlan made a move in that direction; Cara's gloved hand stopped her.

"We can't. It's already begun."

Kahlan strained to hear and could make out the faint sounds of a battle not far away. "We can't leave them."

"The prophecy says that as long as the Mother Confessor's pure heart beats, the Keeper is doomed to fail. You and I have to complete the mission." Cara was starting to get impatient. "It's what Richard would have wanted."

Kahlan hesitated. Was this really her Cara? Or was it another trick? Should she trust her? Was it really possible Darken Rahl had failed again? She couldn't read Mord Sith.

"How do I know I can trust you?"

Cara paused. "You don't," was the reply. "But I did give you the Stone of Tears."

"How did you take it from Rahl? He would have it with him constantly."

"I used…certain methods of persuasion…He enjoys being tied up, even now he's still in his palace, on his bed, gagged and bound."

Kahlan couldn't imagine Rahl taking pleasure in being dominated…unless it was some sort of manipulation tactic. As her mind tried to decide whether or not to trust Cara she saw the other woman's eyes flicker briefly to something behind her.

It was then that Kahlan knew. She felt her heart sinking in her chest. Cara had betrayed her.

The brunette whipped around faster than a lightning bolt. She sent her leg flying and it connected with Dahlia's stomach, sending the detestable woman flying.

"Dahlia!" Cara cried out. Something in Kahlan lurched when she heard the concern in Cara's voice.

"Traitor!" Kahlan spat, unable to keep the vehemence out of her voice. She wasn't sure what she meant: Cara's betrayal of the Seeker or her liaison with Dahlia. The last one hurt more for some reason she couldn't understand.

Cara reacted fast. She tackled the brunette woman to the ground, pinning her there. Beneath her Kahlan writhed, trying to get free. She cried out when Cara's knee pressed hard into her stomach. Dahlia was up now, only temporarily winded. She had a radahann in her hand. Kahlan knew once that was around her neck, she would have no chance of survival. She stopped moving abruptly, acting like she'd passed out. It worked and Cara loosened her grip for a second. In that brief space of time Kahlan had head-butted her, risen, and thrown Dahlia and the radahann to the ground.

The Mother Confessor could feel the first tremors of the Con Dar as it overtook. She hated this woman! This Mord Sith had betrayed Cara! She had taken Cara away from Kahlan! She would die at her hands.

"Kahlan! No!"

The Mother Confessor turned at the sound of the voice. She let Dahlia go. Dahlia hurriedly backed away, still untouched by the magic that could kill her.

"_Cara,"_ she said and the name held a deadly edge to it.

Instinctively Cara who had never backed down in a fight, backed down now. "It's me, it's Cara," she said soothingly, hoping to bring Kahlan out of the Con Dar. Even if they were able to get the collar around her neck, one of them would undoubtedly be confessed. Kahlan didn't need to have her hand around a person's to throat to end them.

Kahlan was only inches away from her now.

Cara closed her eyes, her body shivering. There was a strange desire washing over her. She wanted to open her eyes and stare into the black depths of the Con Dar. She wanted to be _confessed._ She wanted to be Kahlan Amnell's forever and forever. To let Kahlan control her, not Darken Rahl. She wanted to bow down before her and whisper "Mistress." She wanted to be whole again.

Kahlan could make her whole. She could make her feel complete again; she would stop having such a confusing mix of feelings. But even as she thought these things, another crossed her mind.

She was weak. She wasn't truly a Mord Sith.

She deserved to die. Her life wasn't important anyway.

She opened her green eyes and met Kahlan's in the Con Dar.

"Confess me," she whispered.

**[A/N: I didn't really want Cara to trick Kahlan the way Dahlia had tricked her, but that's how it turned out. It made much more sense to have things progress that way than what I originally had. Sorry 'bout the cliffhanger. Review?]**


	4. Chapter 4

**[I love this show so much sometimes I just want to squish all the characters (but mostly Cara) to my bosom. For those of you who may have wondered whether I have abandoned this story, I haven't (obviously since this is an update). I ~adore~ writing this story and exploring Cara and her love for Kahlan. But this also means I'm being very cautious with this piece because I want it to be as close to perfection as possible and hence a lack of updating on my part. So thank you to anyone who is still reading this. And also thank you to everyone who has reviewed. Those little messages really encourage me and make me want to continue this story.]**

Her first thoughts were of Cara. Where was she? Was she safe? She had to find her, she had to know Cara was alright.

"Cara?" she whispered into the darkness surrounding her. Her voice came out as only a croak, her throat was so dry and her arms…they hurt horribly.

There was a sudden sharp sting on her right hip and she screamed. "You will speak only when spoken to and you will address me as Mistress Dahlia," said a measured voice from the darkness.

It was then that Kahlan realized where she was: in a Mord Sith temple. She was in one of their training rooms. She could smell the ugly tang of blood in the air and could feel the two strips of leather covering her body. She felt like an animal trapped by a hunter.

And she was afraid. She knew what they did to Cara. How much time did she have before her mind was completely warped? Before she willingly bowed down to Darken Rahl?

"Where's Cara?" Kahlan felt sharp metal barbs cut into upper torso. She bit back a scream, almost biting off her tongue.

"You will only speak when spoken to!" Dahlia screamed at her, her voice harsh like rough bark. She grabbed the Mother Confessor's hair and yanked it so hard several strands came out. This time Kahlan couldn't hold back voicing her agony. "Darken Rahl wants you trained, but I'd much rather kill you slowly, you bitch. I'll make you suffer. I'll break you until you beg me for death."

Kahlan felt some of her usual fire coming back. She wasn't about to let this woman who had betrayed Cara, strike fear into her heart. She wasn't about to let her win. She was Kahlan Amnell, Mother Confessor, and if she was going down it was going to be one hell of a fight.

She leaned her head closer to Dahlia's and the Mord Sith instinctively shifted back. "Try it," Kahlan said and smiled.

_She was beautiful, even hanging there. Her body was bruised and caked with blood, but she was still the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. She wouldn't look at her face, look into those blue depths. She wanted to, but that was her punishment. _

_She was the one who had done this to her, after all. _

…

_She'd seen her many times before in her white Confessor's dress. White suited her beautifully. It made her hair somehow seem darker, made her pale skin stand out even more. It was also the epitome of purity and despite the blood on her hands, Kahlan was still pure (at least she would be until tonight). _

_Kahlan in that wedding dress took Cara's breath away. It hugged her body perfectly, showing off her figure. The tiny crystal beads sewn onto it glowed in the mid-morning sun-light. Even Kahlan herself seemed to be glowing. She directed a dazzling smile at Cara and the Mord Sith felt her knees grow weak at the sight. It was a smile meant for her and only her. _

_It still amazed her this woman could love her. She was a Mord Sith, the most hated creature in the Mid-lands, but Kahlan loved her in spite of that. In spite of all the flaws, and there were many, she possessed. _

"_You look beautiful," Cara said, looking not at Kahlan, but down at the ground._

_She felt a hand on her chin and Kahlan forced her to meet her eyes. "Don't be nervous. Everything will go wonderfully."_

"_I'm not nervous!" Cara snapped (a sure sign Kahlan had hit the nail on the head). Kahlan laughed lightly and Cara felt a blush creeping up her neck. Sometimes she hated the way Kahlan knew exactly what she was thinking. It unnerved her, a Mord Sith was supposed to be unreadable. _

_A bell sounded. "It's time."_

_Kahlan and Cara took their places and their wedding ceremony commenced._

…

_Cara carried Kahlan over the threshold into their bedroom. _

"_If I have to hear one more well wisher, I'm going to agiel my own eyes out." Kahlan laughed and Cara gently set her down in the middle of the room. "Now, it's time for the fun," she said with a leer in Kahlan's direction._

_Kahlan crossed her arms. "Is that what this is to you? Fun?" the brunette asked, hurt in her voice. _

_Cara fortunately was able to hold back a sigh. Cara had begrudgingly agreed to Kahlan's terms about waiting for their wedding night to take their relationship to the next level. It had been important to Kahlan so Cara had strapped down her libido. She'd "gone hunting" several times and nearly visited several taverns with a certain reputation. Kahlan hadn't done anything to help. They'd kissed repeatedly and Kahlan's hands had a bad habit of running southward. Apparently Kahlan liked to ramp up the anticipation. She'd also been wearing clothes to show off her figure and Cara hadn't been able to touch, only stare at wantonly . _

"_No, no it won't be fun at all," Cara said angrily, inserting a little bitterness into her voice. Okay, a lot of bitterness. She rubbed her temples. This wasn't how it was supposed to be going. She ought to have her hand up her wife's skirt right about now and have her panting like a bitch in heat. _

"_It's supposed to be special," Kahlan sniffed, looking down at the floor. _

_Oh, ye gods. Cara's hand went to an agiel that wasn't there. She didn't want to make her angel cry. She was going to have put her pride aside and tell Kahlan all the gooey, sappy things she wanted to hear. Otherwise Cara wouldn't be getting off anytime soon, and Kahlan would always remember this night as being awful. Forever._

_Cara hated talking about feelings. She wasn't the type. She didn't even understand what she was feeling most of the time. How was she supposed to express things she didn't even grasp?_

_After a moment she sat down on the bed covered with rose petals. "My first time was with Darken Rahl. It was a sort of rite of passage after we were finally named Mord Sith. It was considered a great honor. I knew everything I was supposed to do, it wasn't exactly "my first time." But I was terrified nonetheless. I wanted to please him. It was a great honor." She paused, allowing her words to sink in. "But this time I'm…afraid because it's with someone I love. I never loved Dahlia the way I love you." She wouldn't admit it aloud and she barely admitted it to herself, but she didn't want to mess this night up. This night was extremely important to Cara too. She'd been with many women before, but she didn't quite know how she was supposed to be with Kahlan. What did Kahlan want? She was too innocent to have a conversation about such a sensitive subject. So Cara had tried to hide it behind her bravado. And it had backfired._

_She hadn't realized Kahlan had moved until she felt her arms wrap around her. Kahlan planted a kiss gently on her ear. "You'll be fine, Cara. You'll be amazing," Kahlan said. She shot her a coy smile. "Now I want you to take off my dress," she whispered into her wife's ear, lowering her voice to a seductive purr. _

_Cara felt a shiver run down her spine at the feel of her breath on her ear. Cara turned around and started to undo the lacings on her wife's dress. (She really wanted to take a knife to the damn things so she could get to the present quicker. This was ridiculous. It was also ridiculous the way her hands kept shaking.)She was able to keep her temper in check long enough to throw the white dress unceremoniously to the floor. Underneath the dress Kahlan was wearing a lace shift. Cara looked her over appreciatively, trying not to leer._

"_I picked it just for you. Do you like it?"_

"_I love it," Cara said, tentatively kissing her. Her libido was running high right now, but she was still hesitant and Kahlan could see it in her eyes._

"_Touch me." Kahlan added, "Please," as an afterthought._

_The newlyweds were facing each other on the bed so Cara easily slipped a hand up Kahlan's thigh. Kahlan started to pant. "Kiss me," she ordered and the blonde obeyed, still keeping a hand on her warm thigh. She let Kahlan control the kiss. She was enjoying this, the way Kahlan was ordering her around was a turn on. _

"_Touch me more," Kahlan said, in between kisses. Cara's hand traveled further up the pale skin of her thigh. The Mother Confessor jumped a little when it reached its destination. She had never even touched herself _there._ "Cara." She threw her head back. "Stroke me," she commanded shakily and Cara obeyed, watching as Kahlan's body arched. _

_After that there was no need for any more commands. _

…

_Kahlan was screaming. She could hear it. And then there was silence. Cara was running towards her, she could already smell the blood. The sight before her made her stomach clench: Kahlan lying on a forest floor, choking on her own blood._

"_Dahlia," Cara said to the woman standing over Kahlan._

"_I couldn't let her destroy us. Please understand, Cara, this woman was making you weak."_

"_No. You're the one who's making me weak." A sudden strike of an agiel to the heart was all it took. She took Kahlan's head in her hands. "Please. Please. Hold on for me." Cara was crying. "Please."_

"_Cara," was all the brunette said before her eyes stilled._

"_Don't go. Please. I love you." She clutched the body to herself uselessly. Kahlan was dead and it was all her fault._

"Cara!" the blonde Mord Sith was shaken awake. "You were crying out in your sleep."

"It was…a dream."

"About what?" Dahlia asked, concern on her face.

"I don't remember," she said, lying easily. Of course she remembered it all: Kahlan in chains, their wedding night, and Kahlan lying dead on the ground. She found it haunting. She could still feel the overwhelming crush of Kahlan's death on her shoulders. The utter despair. "I'm fine."

Dahlia paused and looked away, biting back a sigh. "Kahlan's training started today."

Cara's face held no reaction. "And?"

Dahlia sighed. "She's going to be difficult to break."

Cara's eyes flicked to hers. "You have no idea."

Dahlia paused. "Lord Rahl will only tolerate so much more of your absence. What troubles you, Cara?" Dahlia placed a hand on her face, a loving gesture. "Is it because she almost confessed you?"

Cara shifted her body away. "Leave me."

Dahlia reluctantly rose and left, no doubt about to take out her frustration on Kahlan.

Cara wasn't troubled by the fact Kahlan had almost confessed her. She was still bothered and confused by her feelings towards the Mother Confessor. But what was truly bothering her was the fact Kahlan hadn't confessed her. Cara had stared into the depths of those coal black eyes, felt the seduction of Kahlan's power. But nothing had happened. Was it because of the black magic Darken Rahl had used on her? Was it strong enough to even face a Confessor in the Con Dar? To repel Kahlan's magic? Or was it something else?

Why hadn't Kahlan been able to confess her?

**[On a side note I now own season 2 of LOTS and this has really lit a fire under my behind to write more. I already have half of chapter 5 written. Now you know what to do. Click. The. Button.]**


	5. Chapter 5

**[A/N: *gasp* A second update in one month? Is the apocalypse nigh? Don't expect this to become a habit (I am a lazy narcoleptic, afterall). Right now I know where this story is going and what I want to do with it so I've been trying to write whenever I can. Have to strike while the Muse is hot and Cara shaped. Also in case I haven't mentioned it lately I really, really love Cara. She's just-…I have no words. GUH. K, now it's storytime. My apologies if this chapter is not as good as previous chapters or if its full of errors. It was written at around 3am during a brownie binge (and a rewatch of Eternity UNF possessive!lick.) And since I'm posting it so soon after writing it I don't have time to agonize over tiny details.] **

"_I will forget my dreams/ Nothing is what it seems/ I will affect you/ I will protect you/ From all the crazy schemes." _

Cara stood outside Kahlan's training room, leaning casually against the doorframe. She wasn't alone; there were other Mord Sith present, whether as guards or merely there on the off-chance Kahlan broke under Dahlia's whip today. Everyone wanted to be witness to the breaking of a Mother Confessor. Cara ignored everyone else and they, likewise, ignored her. If anyone wondered why she hadn't gone into the training room they didn't even whisper about it. No one wanted to feel Cara's wrath. Since returning to the fold she had been harsher than usual. Not that Cara had ever been nice, but even a kind word to her these days would result in a hateful glare or a sharp kick to the shin. And not even Darken Rahl himself, usually so good at reading people, could guess the thoughts going on in the blonde's head.

She was afraid.

It was an emotion she was no longer accustomed to feeling. She recalled a few hazy memories from her childhood when she had been scared of something, a large spider or the terrifying bedtime tales of monsters her father would tell her and her sister. But now those memories seemed ridiculous to her. Really, Cara Mason scared of a spider? She still remembered being a little girl terrified of the pain of the agiel. But these were distant memories from an alien world, before pain and violence had become her path in life. They meant nothing to her now, and only served as reminders of how weak she had once been. She hadn't felt true fear since… she frowned. She didn't want to think it, but since she'd become a Mord Sith the only times she'd been afraid had been when she was with the Seeker. And all the times she could think of had to do with Kahlan. Kahlan dying. Kahlan injured. Kahlan lost to the rage of the Con Dar.

Mord Sith were not susceptible to fear. It was one of the many characteristics beaten out of them when they were still young. Mord Sith were Darken Rahl's perfect tools and fear got in the way of that perfection. Fear was considered an unnecessary emotion like love and compassion. They were hindrances. Why Cara had to be subjected to this stupid weakness _now_, after years of being a Mord Sith, she didn't fully understand.

She was afraid of Kahlan.

It made no sense. The Mother Confessor was dangling from the ceiling, bound by chains and a magical collar to prevent her magic from being used. There was no reason to be fearful. She gripped her agiel tightly and let the pain block out this unfathomable feeling. But it didn't work; the pain wasn't strong enough to combat her emotions. Her agiel failed to soothe.

All Cara could see in her mind's eye was Kahlan in full Confessor garb looking down at her about to cast judgment. It was an image from her time with the Seeker when Cara had gone to see her sister and subsequently the townspeople had put her on trial. Kahlan had been called to hand out justice. Kahlan had wanted her dead. She remembered Kahlan's vengeful face, her hand raised to destroy Cara forever.

She didn't want to see that look again. Maybe it was why she was so afraid now. She was terrified Kahlan would turn cold blue eyes on her, cast her off like everyone else had in Cara's life.

Dahlia touched Cara's shoulder and the blonde Mord Sith couldn't hide her flinch. "What's wrong?" Dahlia asked, all soft words and touches. Cara hated it when she babied her like this; it made her feel weak.

"Nothing. You just startled me. I was getting bored standing here."

Dahlia smiled at her. It was a wicked smile and one Cara was familiar with and had once loved dearly. "I think I can find something to entertain you, mistress," Dahlia whispered, mouth only inches away from the other woman's ear. She took one of Cara's hands and slid it down to her thigh. "Or perhaps someone," Dahlia said, giving Cara's ear a gentle tug with her teeth.

"Not now, Dahlia."

Dahlia quickly hid her hurt. It'd been nearly two weeks since they had last slept together and Dahlia was getting worried. Cara seemed more distant and more cold than ever before. Had the magic of the Sisters of the Dark really worked? She'd speak to Lord Rahl about it later, perhaps after she convinced Cara to have some fun. "Come on, it's time."

A lesser Mord Sith opened the door for them and Cara found herself in Kahlan's training room.

She was struck first by the smell. Blood and sweat greeted her and she felt like gagging. Kahlan's blood. She was smelling Kahlan's blood. The dream she'd had of Kahlan dying… she felt suddenly anxious. Her eyes immediately went to Kahlan and she calmed herself with the fact her chest was still rising and falling.

_Kahlan's alright, _she whispered silently in her head.

Cara's eyes traveled over Kahlan's body. She forced herself to take in all the welts, the bruises, the cuts. She beheld the full horror of what had happened in the past eighteen days since Cara had betrayed her.

"Cara?" a voice sounded in the darkened room. It took a few seconds for Cara's brain to register the voice belonged to Kahlan. It was so quiet, ragged and torn. A whisper of its former glory. Singing to the Nightwisps, calling for Richard, giving out commands. It was barely recognizable.

"Kahlan." Cara walked towards her in the sinuous, predatory way of the Mord Sith before stopping a few feet away from her. She was determined to act confident and reminded herself this was just another body for her to break. Kahlan Amnell meant nothing to her. She was a Confessor and Cara would do to her what she had done to many confessors before: torture her.

"Why?" Kahlan asked, her voice still in that awful croak.

Cara was struck by the simplicity of the question.

Why what?

Why was she being tortured? Why had Cara betrayed her? Or maybe it was a different why. Why did Mord Sith have to exist anyway? Why was all this pain and suffering necessary in the eyes of one man? Why? Why? _Why?_

Cara forced her green eyes to meet Kahlan's blue eyes. She didn't look away, but forced herself to look, to tell herself she was the reason why Kahlan was here. It was all her fault and this was her punishment: to let herself see how much Kahlan had suffered in the last eighteen days. It torn away part of her soul and she fought a strong desire to take her down from the ceiling and hold her, to salve her wounds, and sing her lullabies. She wanted to be all the comfort in the world for her.

"Cara, it's time," Dahlia's voice broke through her thoughts. She moved towards Kahlan until her face was only inches from hers. It almost looked as though she was going to kiss her and Kahlan tried to move her head as far back as possible. Dahlia smiled cruelly and then struck her with an agiel. Kahlan screamed. "Stop fighting it, Confessor! The only way to stop this is to bow down to Darken Rahl. You know this. Richard isn't going to come save you."

Kahlan spoke, her voice was stronger, but affected by the pain of the agiel and she grit her teeth. She ignored the mention of Richard. "I would rather die than bow down to Darken Rahl. But before I die I swear on the Creator I will kill you, Dahlia. And when you return as a baneling I'll kill you again." It wasn't normally something Kahlan would say. And Cara was struck by how much it resembled the words of a Mord Sith.

Cara approached, standing next to Dahlia.

Kahlan kept her face devoid of emotion.

"Strike her, Cara. Let her learn the pain of the agiel. Think about how weak she made you! You were a puppy at her beck and call. She treats slaves better than she ever treated you. Show me your strength, Cara!"

Cara could feel some of her hatred towards confessors rekindling. It was true, wasn't it? They had never truly treated her like one of them. She was nothing more than a convenient soldier; someone to order around. Useful in a fight, but not for anything else. Her sisters treated her as an equal. They were her real family. This was where she belonged.

She struck Kahlan with her agiel, letting her cries reverberate through her body. She struck her repeatedly, letting the agiel sink into her skin until she begged for the pain to stop. She slapped her across the face. "Do you thinking begging will help you?" Cara shouted, angry. Then she took a step back when she saw the look on Kahlan's face.

Kahlan wasn't looking at her with hatred or revulsion, none of the faces Cara was expecting to see. There wasn't even pity in her eyes. She was looking at her with compassion…and understanding? Love?

Cara dropped her agiel. The one thing that had always kept her rooted, no matter what confused emotion she was feeling, rolled on the floor away from her.

"Cara." Kahlan's voice was weaker now, but full of something Cara couldn't even begin to grasp.

Cara stood there a few more seconds before she ran away.

**[A/N: This chapter turned out to be waaay longer than I intended. I re-wrote the entire chapter and actually ended up cutting out the end so it'll be at the beginning of chapter six. (This means I already know how I'm going to start that chapter and that means another update in the near future. Anyway, hope you enjoyed; review k? I love hearing what people think.]**


	6. Chapter 6

**[Author's Note: It's been a long time since I updated so first I'd like to apologize. I haven't been able to write for the past SIX MONTHS. Not because of writer's block, but because I lost my best friend. For the past few months (since January) I've been severely depressed and I couldn't find my voice. And I thought maybe my voice was lost forever, but finally in June I started to write again and I hope I've still got it. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and alerted for this story. Your words were sometimes literally the only good thing about my day. So thank you. Anyway, about this chapter: NOTE: Cara might seem really OOC at first; this is just how this chapter progressed for me. Emotional turmoil BLING BLING. She's trying to find herself as her Mord Sith shell starts to crack and she's left wondering who the hell she is. She's experiencing all these new things and feelings she doesn't understand. And as a reminder, the italicized scene is a dream. I'm hoping I'll get past my fear of writing porn eventually, maybe in this story, hmm? How do you like that idea?]**

The forest was dark and full of sounds. Cara didn't know how far she'd run and at the moment she didn't care. She fell to her knees, breathing heavily from her midnight sprint. Her lungs felt like they were on fire and she was glad for the pain.

Pain had always been a constant in her life. It had always made her proud, her training as a Mord Sith meant her pain threshold was far above that of the commoner. She could handle anything. Her hand reached for an agiel and grasped empty air. She'd left it behind with… with Kahlan.

She shut her eyes trying to block out the memory of her. What the hell had she done? And- Kahlan…she hadn't looked away. She didn't hate her. Kahlan didn't hate her. She should. She should want to destroy her, but she didn't and Cara couldn't even begin to grasp this so she just repeated it in her head again and again. Though she wanted to forget, she couldn't.

She had betrayed the Mother Confessor. For all Kahlan knew that betrayal could have led to the deaths of Richard and Zedd. Cara had hurt her. She was bleeding because of her, her body was damaged because of her, her throat was dry and raw because of her. It was all her fault. All Cara's fault. The only thing a Mord Sith knew how to do was inflict pain.

She wished Kahlan had confessed her. She was so lost, so desperate, so alone the only way to make it stop was death. The world would be a much better place without her. One less person to inflict pain on the people of D'Hara. Kahlan should've let her kill herself in that tomb, saved everyone the trouble of her existence.

She loathed herself, she suddenly realized.

She hated every single thing she was: proud, loyal, cruel. She took pride in inflicting pain on others; she was loyal to the man who taught her the most effective methods of torture; and she was pitiless. The lives of others meant nothing to her. Not even her sisters' lives were of any concern to her.

But Kahlan mattered.

She made her feel things she knew she shouldn't. Dangerous things she couldn't understand. That more than anything scared the shit out of her.

"Cara." It was Dahlia.

Cara smiled bitterly. Of course she followed her here.

"Cara?" Dahlia approached her carefully, worried she might spook her.

"Don't." Cara's voice was stern.

"Don't what?"

"Don't look at me."

Dahlia gently touched her arm, but the other woman yanked it back.

"What am I?" Cara kept her voice at a monotone, as though the answer to the question was none of her concern.

"You're a Sister of the Agiel. A Mord Sith. One of Darken Rahl's loyal servants."

Cara bit back a sob. Spirits, why the hell was she crying? That's all she had ever been, all she ever would be. A part. A tool. An object. She allowed Dahlia to hold her as she cried. They weren't the arms she wanted to hold her, but they were there, and she clung to them as though she were a weak infant again. She hated how weak she was, but she couldn't stop it. She was a Mord Sith and she couldn't control her emotions.

"Shh, it's all right," Dahlia said soothingly. Her Mord Sith exterior was horrified, watching as Cara let her emotions show; but, the inner Dahlia was overcome with love for Cara. She didn't want her to cry; it hurt her to watch her cry. And not the way an agiel hurt, it was like an aching in her chest. A rip in her heart. Watching Cara cry made her want to cry too.

"I don't u-u-understand what's happening," Cara said in between sobs. "M-make it stop."

"Shh, my love."

"Make it stop," Cara repeated again, her voice still choked up. She could taste the salt in her tears and it only upset her more. This wasn't right. She shouldn't be doing this. She shouldn't be feeling this. "Make me a Mord Sith."

"You are a Mord Sith." Dahlia pulled away and forced Cara to look at her. "You are a Sister of the Agiel."

"No. I'm not. Not anymore. I don't know who I am."

"You're the woman I love," Dahlia whispered and kissed her.

Cara kissed back, letting Dahlia completely dominate her. She let herself get lost in the feel of her skin, in the scent of her body, in the taste of her mouth. She lost herself in pleasure and pain and forgot, at least for a little while, that Kahlan Amnell existed.

"_Cara." The blonde turned at the sound of the voice. It was Kahlan wearing full Mord Sith leathers, an agiel in its holster at her side, and that same predatory walk. She was smiling devilishly and Cara felt goose bumps on her arms. She licked her lips in anticipation. _

_They were alone._

"_How was your trip, Mistress Kahlan?"_

"_It was well, but your company," Kahlan ran a finger down Cara's thigh, "was sorely missed." Kahlan smirked at her. "Did you take any others to your bed while I was away?"_

"_Why would I want to?" Cara said with her own smirk reserved just for Kahlan. She slid her hand up the former Confessor's thigh and went higher, making Kahlan gasp. Stars above, Cara would never get tired of hearing that sound._

_Kahlan licked her lips, wondering what exactly Cara had in mind. They had many games they liked to play. Their favorite was when Kahlan pretended to be an innocent virgin, unaware of all matters of the bedroom. And of course Cara enjoyed the game where she pretended to be a Mord Sith's slave and Kahlan was her Mistress. She loved to watch Kahlan in all her red leather clad glory._

"_Have you ever-?" Cara trailed off suggestively, letting Kahlan know exactly what game she wanted to play._

_Kahlan closed her eyes and swallowed. "I've never even touched myself."_

_Cara slowly unzipped Kahlan's leather top. "Oh, really?" She raised an eyebrow in disbelief. She touched Kahlan a little more, driving her wild. (Kahlan was rarely patient with any game). "Touch yourself."_

_Kahlan's eyes snapped open in pretend shock. She enjoyed playing her part, but she hoped the foreplay wouldn't be too long. She slid her hand down her body until it reached its destination, still fully clothed. "Is this okay?"_

_Cara unzipped Kahlan's pants. "Now touch yourself."_

_Kahlan obeyed, still playing the innocent. Cara's hands joined hers and the brunette gasped, feigning surprise. _

"_Someone's impatient," Cara said, noting how Kahlan was thrusting her hips, looking for better friction. _

"_Please."_

_Cara smiled and took out her agiel. It was time to stop playing games and cut straight to business._

Kahlan was planning. Something about Cara was…off. She remembered Cara when she first joined the Seeker. She'd been completely ruthless and cutthroat. A monster. Kahlan had been expecting that, but some of the old Cara was still there. She'd been reluctant to hit her, she'd seen the hesitation in her eyes. And why had she run away? Kahlan didn't know what was going on, but she felt hope for the first time in weeks.

Before she could ruminate further the door opened and Cara entered. She was alone and wearing just a simple shift; a piece of clothing more fit for a scullery maid than a powerful Mord Sith. looked haggard, worn. In that moment she had never looked more human to Kahlan.

"Kahlan."

The Mother Confessor didn't respond as Cara approached. She didn't stiffen either when the Mord Sith caressed her face or when her hands trailed down to her chest.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" Cara muttered, taking a strand of hair and sniffing it. "The most beautiful creature in the Mid-Lands."

Kahlan just continued to stare, not sure what she should say. She had an idea slowly taking root in her head. Was their a way she could exploit Cara? Was there a weakness she had?

"Tell me something true."

"Something true?" Kahlan repeated, trying to guess what Cara was getting at.

"Yes. An indisputable truth."

Kahlan paused. For some reason she remembered Cara's words when they'd been trapped together in the tomb, when they had almost died side by side. "Your life is important. Richard, Zedd and I: we've all missed you."

Cara scoffed and swayed.

Kahlan wondered if she was drunk, but she couldn't smell any alcohol. Was she sleep walking? Cara's behavior was bizarre; and, if Kahlan didn't know better, she might've guessed she'd been crying.

"My life is nothing. When a Mord Sith falls, another just takes her place. But you, you Kahlan, are special. You've always been important."

"You're right, Cara, you aren't important to Darken Rahl. But to the Seeker you are. To me you are. You're my friend, my best friend." Kahlan couldn't help but let a little emotion creep into her voice. They'd been through so much together. She truly cared for her.

"Friend." Cara turned the word over in her tongue.

"There are so many things Richard couldn't have done if you hadn't been there."

"He would've found someone else."

"But he found you and that makes you important."

Cara shrugged and raised her arm to yawn. Kahlan averted her gaze when she caught sight of naked flesh. Cara was beautiful.

"You should go to bed," Kahlan said gently. "You're sleepy."

Cara ignored her and approached Kahlan, getting close to her face. "You are the most important person in my world, Kahlan." She kissed her gently, reverently like she was a delicate flower that might shatter if too much pressure was applied.

And with that Cara shambled off abruptly, leaving Kahlan to wonder what the hell had just happened.

**[Like it? Hate it? Review~ I love people talking about Cara, Kahlan, Cara/Kahlan!]**


	7. Chapter 7

**[A/N: Just a reminder the italics are Cara's dreams. Also some anonymous idiot left a really rude review to this story completely attacking Cara/Kahlan's love (you can still read the review, I don't know how to delete it :/), saying it's a slap to the face to Kahlan/Richard's love. Blah. Blah. Blah. They also said "this story ** me off to the point I want to light myself on fire!" Not only did they not leave their name, they also didn't have the balls to swear. I have this to say: Please do light yourself on fire, furthermore it's clearly a Cara/Kahlan fic so why would you read it if you don't like it? As a result of this review I'm currently polishing up some old Cara/Kahlan fics and hope to post them soon so there can be even more Cara/Kahlan up on this site :D. I urge all of you to do the same. Spread the diversity of this site that has something for everyone!]**

"_This heart, it beats, beats for only you/My heart is yours."_

It took Cara a few days to work up the nerve to join Dahlia in the training room given what had happened last time. She'd run away like a scared mouse; it wounded her pride to think of it. But no matter what, she told herself, this time she would stay. It wasn't easy; as soon as she entered the room, she'd felt apprehension growing in the pit of her stomach. Again she had to force herself to watch as Dahlia's whip tore through unmarked flesh.

"This could all stop. All this pain if you just gave in," Dahlia stroked Kahlan's cheek tenderly. Cara felt jealousy twist in her gut at the sight. She wanted to walk up there and tear Dahlia away from her.

Kahlan spat in Dahlia's face and gave a bitter laugh. "Is that so, Dahlia? A Mord Sith's life _is_ nothing but pain."

Dahlia backhanded her so hard the Mother Confessor swung on her chains.

"I really enjoy how you're so scared of me, Dahlia, that you have to have me chained up in order to fight me. What are you, chicken?"

Dahlia didn't usually give in to taunts; Kahlan was having quite the effect on her, Cara thought to herself. And the Mother Confessor's stamina was impressive. She was still surprisingly feisty after twenty-five days in this chamber. She'd far outlasted Richard when he'd been tortured by Denna.

"Leave us," Cara said to Dahlia before she could strike her again.

"Is that wise?"

"Are you questioning me?"

"No, Mistress," Dahlia said, handing her the whip on her way out.

Cara remained standing against the wall by the door. "You're right. A Mord Sith's life is nothing but pain. We are created to serve, we are treated as objects, our lives are meaningless, only Lord Rahl's life is important. Richard was the first person who was kind to me after I became a Mord Sith. He treated me like I was human and then I met you, Kahlan, and you made me _feel_ human."

Cara moved closer, an agiel in her hand and Kahlan stiffened. "Why don't you hate me? Why is it that you look at me with love in your eyes instead of revulsion? Why is it that when I look in your eyes all I see is acceptance instead of rejection?" Cara felt her voice get thick with tears. She reached out a hand to stroke Kahlan's face, much like Dahlia had earlier, but this time Kahlan just shivered under her touch. "Why didn't you confess me? Why _couldn't_ you confess me?"

"Cara, please." The blonde Mord Sith was taking this conversation to a place Kahlan didn't like. She was asking her questions she didn't have the answers to, questions she didn't want the answers to.

"You were in the Con Dar and I looked into your eyes…and nothing happened. I was able to restrain you, to hold you back so Dahlia could place the Rada'Han around your neck. I should be dead." And then she asked the question Kahlan didn't want to hear. "Why didn't your magic work on me?"

"I don't know, Cara." Kahlan shook her head.

Cara took a small key out of her pocket and held it up so Kahlan could see. "This is the key to the Rada'Han. I'm going to unlock it, and then, I want you to confess me."

~_Cara's Angel~_

_Blood. Oh, spirits there was so much blood. It was all over the floor and there was a knife in her hand. Blood was still sprinkling down and she looked up. Kahlan's lifeless eyes were staring down at her._

"_No," Cara whispered. _

"_You've done well, Cara. Lord Rahl and I are very proud of you." It was Dahlia. "The Mother Confessor's pure heart no longer beats. The Keeper has won. Aren't you pleased?"_

_~Cara's Angel~_

_Cara was walking through the woods. It was dusk; the light of the fading sun filtered through the trees, creating patterns on the ground. She was weary; it seemed she'd been walking for days. Her hair was in a messy tangle and her clothes were streaked with dirt. She didn't know why she wasn't in her Mord Sith leathers. She couldn't remember changing into this simple shift. She could only recall fragments of her life before. She tried not to think too much; the fragments were full of pain and violence and death._

_She didn't know where she was. There was no path to follow, not even animal tracks in the soft earth. She was hopelessly lost._

_She wandered for awhile longer, it could've been days or years she couldn't tell. It just felt endless. She came to a small stream in the forest and drank from it, using some of the water to clean some of the dirt from her face and arms. _

_Someone or something was watching her. She looked up and across the stream, only about a yard away, was a woman in a long, flowing, white dress. Her dark brown tresses cascaded in two waves down her chest. She was beautiful and seemed almost ethereal in her appearance. At first Cara thought she was seeing a ghost, but she looked too real._

_The woman in white extended her hand out towards her. "Cara."_

_How did she know her name? She didn't dwell on it to long, however, the stranger was the first living thing she'd seen besides trees in days. For some reason she was not afraid; she felt a sense of calm she didn't think she'd ever felt before. "I'm lost," she said, rising from her crouch on the ground._

"_I know," the woman said. "I've been searching for you. Take my hand."_

_Cara closed the short distance between them and took her hand. "Kahlan," she said, remembering the woman's name. _

_Kahlan beamed at her, glad she'd remembered. "Let's go home."_

_~Cara's Angel~_

Cara removed the Rada'han from around the brunette's neck. Kahlan gasped as her magic was allowed to surge through her completely, small tendrils of it leaked out. She hadn't released her powers in so long…

"I won't. You'll die."

"I don't think I will. I don't think you can confess me."

"Cara, please."

She lowered Kahlan to the floor so her feet were touching the ground. She quickly fetched a chair; Kahlan's legs would be weak.

"I love Richard. This is unnecessary and foolish. You will die; I won't do it!"

She removed the chains from around her wrists and helped her sit. She massaged the livid bruises the chains had left on her arms.

"Please, Kahlan. I'm begging you."

"And if you're wrong, you'll be dead!" Kahlan started to cry.

Cara placed Kahlan's hand on her neck. "Confess me."

Kahlan got her crying under control, but she was still sniffling. "I don't want to kill you."

"Kahlan, if you really believe there's strength in love then do it. Prove it to me."

"What will I do with you dead?"

"You'll be fine. Richard will find you."

Kahlan sniffled. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and when she opened her eyes they were a clear blue that swirled into darkness. She released her magic, but Cara's eyes didn't turn to the black of confession. They stayed the same. Kahlan yanked her hand away from the other woman's neck as though she'd been burned. "The Magic Rahl used on you…it must've been powerful."

"You know that isn't the case." Cara got up abruptly and walked out, leaving Kahlan to her thoughts.

**[Good God, now what do I do in the next chapter? Opened minded comments and constructive criticism are always welcomed and appreciated.]**


	8. Chapter 8

**Get ready for feeeeeeelings. Also my apologies for being a sucky writer and rarely updating. I don't know what the heck I'm doing with this story. Also I don't own any lyrics I use in this story.**

"_So take a chance/And don't ever look back/Don't ever look back."_

Dahlia was waiting outside the training room for Cara.

"No one is to enter without my permission. Is that understood?" Cara asked, no emotion betraying her voice. Inside, however, she was shaking like a leaf.

"Yes, mistress."

Cara headed towards her rooms; Dahlia was close behind, much to Cara's chagrin.

"The Lord Rahl is becoming displeased. You still haven't broken Kahlan and it has been nearly a month. Perhaps your methods are no longer up to scratch."

Cara stopped walking, her mouth a tense line of anger. No doubt that was Dahlia's intent, but at the moment Cara wasn't exactly in the best emotional state to care. She considered whipping around and cramming her agiel so far down Dahlia's throat that'd she'd die in untold torment. "There is nothing wrong with my methods," she replied, her voice perfectly even and controlled.

"Some would say you've gone easy on her."

"I didn't know you listened to idle temple gossip, Dahlia."

"It isn't idle gossip, Cara, but what I have seen and what the Lord Rahl has seen. It's becoming quite clear just how attached you are to the Mother Confessor."

"The Mother Confessor means nothing to me."

"Then break her, Cara. Snap her very soul like a twig and be done with it."

"I will decide how it is best to break the Mother Confessor. Lord Rahl put me in charge of her training and I will fulfill my duties. I don't need you to tell me what to do."

"Cara!" Dahlia snapped. "There was a time when you would've taken my advice without question."

"Guess that time is past," Cara said and walked away.

...

Kahlan couldn't remember the last time she had cried so hard. She was laying on the dirty floor of the training room, her body sprawled out. She felt broken and defeated. When the door opened she didn't bother to move or even look to see who had entered.

"Get up." Kahlan didn't move. "I said, Get up!" Kahlan's eyes widened as Dahlia roughly pulled her up by her hair. She flung her against the wall. "You bitch," Dahlia hissed. "You've done this. You've made Cara into the weakling she is!"

Kahlan could taste blood in her mouth. "She isn't weak, she's Cara," she said, her voice still strong despite the blows she'd taken. She tried to lift herself up, but Dahlia delivered a powerful blow to her face that made her almost insensible. Some of her injuries which had closed in the last few hours were now bleeding, awakening even more agony. She was in too much pain to even realize the Rada'han wasn't around her neck. She'd been wearing it for so long it was as if it was still there, like a phantom.

"Dahlia!" It was Cara, flinging open the door of the training room. Dahlia didn't have enough time to react. In the blink of an eye Cara had grabbed Dahlia by her braid and yanked her back. She smashed her head against the wall, knocking her out.

"Kahlan! Kahlan!" She rushed to Kahlan's side, holding her in her arms.

Kahlan tried to feebly lift an arm to touch Cara's face. "Cara," she said, her voice muffled by the blood in her mouth. She knew there was something else she wanted to say, but she couldn't remember it now. Her mind was fuzzy and the edges of her vision were black.

Cara was sobbing into Kahlan's hair as she breathed her last. "I love you. I love you. I love you," she repeated.

_..._

_The light that hit her was blindly bright and beautiful. She held up her arms to shield herself from it until it slowly faded away. She was on a cliff top overlooking the sea. Everything seemed brighter somehow; the grass was greener and the sky bluer. Even the clouds seemed different somehow. She heard a noise behind her and turned._

_Kahlan's eyes widened. "Mother?" _

"_Kahlan." Her mother approached, her blue dress swirling around her ankles. She wrapped her arms around her daughter. She pulled away and looked at her daughter sadly. "It isn't your time."_

"_Am I…Am I dead?"_

"_Yes and no. You are still attached to the world of the living; your heart lies there. Soon, though, that tie will be severed as more time passes. You must go."_

"_But it's so beautiful here."_

_She looked at her daughter sadly and gently stroked her face. The light that had faded was starting to come back. "You must remember, Kahlan, to always follow your heart no matter the path." _

"_I don't want to leave!" Kahlan understood the light meant she was getting pulled back into life. Meant she had to return._

"_The world needs its Mother Confessor." Her mother kissed her on the cheek and the light bloomed, blindingly brighter than before._

...

Kahlan gasped as air filled her lungs and her heart began beating again. Cara was clutching her to her chest; her arms wrapped around her as she cried. "I'm so sorry," she said over and over again.

Kahlan pulled away. The Breath of Life apparently had some healing qualities because she didn't feel as weak as before. Her magic thrummed through her body; it felt like getting the feeling back in one's arms and legs after they'd fallen asleep. She shivered.

"I died."

"Only for a few moment. I promise. Did you see the Keeper?"

"I…I saw paradise," she said, tears filling her eyes as she remembered the beautiful place she had been. "My mother was there. She said I had to come back."

"I'm so sorry, Kahlan." She kissed the top of her head.

Kahlan turned her head away from her, looking towards the wall where Dahlia lay, still unconscious. Her body still hurt from the blows she'd suffered. "You did this to me," Kahlan said, her voice turning hard and bitter. "You should have let me die. It would've been better."

"No. I-"

"You what? Just followed orders?" Kahlan pushed Cara away and sat up, crossing her legs and glaring at the other woman. "It's because of you that I'm here! Because of you that I bleed."

Cara closed her eyes. "I'm sorry, Kahlan."

Kahlan laughed harshly.

"Please… believe me." Cara could feel fresh tears staining her cheeks. "I was…selfish. I couldn't bear the thought of losing you…of never seeing you again. And I know you're in all this pain now because of me and it's breaking my heart. Kahlan… I."

"Don't you dare say it."

"Kahlan, I love you."

"I don't want to deal with this now!" she snapped.

Cara let a few seconds pass by before she spoke again. "Richard may have given me a second chance, but you, Kahlan, you gave me life. Tell me, do you love me?" She moved to crouch in front of Kahlan.

The brunette looked away from her. "I don't know," she whispered quietly.

"Yes, you do. You know the answer!"

"I don't want to know!" Kahlan retorted angrily.

Cara grabbed her hands. "I'll take you away from this place. We'll run away from Darken Rahl, from Richard. We'll find a farm or something in a remote village. We'll grow our own food, we'll have cattle or sheep or something. Maybe adopt a couple of orphans from the war and raise them. We'll have a life together."

"I'm the Mother Confessor. I cannot just leave my post, Cara, and go live like a farmer's wife! I have duties, obligations. I'm supposed to be with Richard."

"Don't think about any of that. Just follow your heart."

Kahlan tore her hands away from the other woman. "I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't do this. I can't…" Kahlan voice started to crack. "I can't choose you."

Cara stood up on shaky legs. She'd already made a complete emotional mess of herself in front of the woman she loved; she didn't want Kahlan to watch as her heart broke in two. She didn't speak as she grabbed Dahlia by her wrists to drag her out. There were nothing else she could say.

**Review's make my day! :D And also help give me ideas. **


	9. Chapter 9

**[A/N: Sorry. It's been a while. I've had the first few paragraphs written for months, but inspiration ended there. A big thank you to anyone who reviewed or PM'd me. Reviews are always fodder for ideas and it was a few recent reviews that actually reminded me that I hadn't updated in awhile. So thank them for this new chapter. Also if you're interested in an Cara/Kahlan modern AU, I'm posting one today called D'Hara Grocery. Cara as a cashier? Maybe not the best job choice for her.]**

Cara.

The name alone caused a hundred different feelings and thoughts to bubble up.

Strength. Courage. Beauty. Grace. Love. Kindness. Loyalty. Vulnerability.

Cara was like an onion and Kahlan was slowly peeling away the layers, discovering new things all the time. Exploring different things about her. Cara came off as a warrior first, all muscles and battle-scars and bad-assery. She was sarcastic, she was unkind, she was self-absorbed, arrogant.

And Kahlan loved her. All of her. All her flaws, all her faults.

She knew Cara was other things too. She could be kind, she could be caring, she could be unselfish. She knew deep down inside there was another Cara, just waiting to be unpeeled if only someone would reach out their hand to her.

Kahlan covered her face with her hands and started to cry.

She was afraid. She was afraid Cara was lying to her when she told her she loved her. She was everything Cara made her feel, feelings so much stronger than what she felt for Richard. She was afraid all of this was a plot to break her.

She didn't know what was real anymore. But she knew what she wanted to be real.

It was morning when Cara entered the training room in all her leather clad glory. Kahlan drank in the sight before her as light filtered in from a high window. The Mord Sith knelt before her.

"I'm going to get you out of here," Cara said softly. "I'm going to take you away from this place and get you back safely to Richard." Cara made sure her voice was even, betraying none of her emotions. She'd made a fool of herself, to think Kahlan would fall for someone like her.

"I don't want to go back to Richard."

"What?" Cara asked, blood pounding in her ears, her heart rate speeding out of control.

Kahlan looked away from her. "I've tried," Kahlan began, her voice shaky, "To block you out, to block out my feelings for you, but I can't. You spread through my veins like a sickness and I can't be cured. I don't want to be cured."

Cara reached out to her, forced Kahlan to look at her.

"I tried to stop thinking about you, but I couldn't, even before all of this." Kahlan was crying, ugly streaks of tears running down her face. "I tried to tell myself you were nothing but a vicious monster, but then you turned human in my eyes-and I can't-I can't help but love you."

Cara clutched Kahlan to her in a hug. "I'm going to get you out of here. You're going to be alright."

Kahlan nodded. "We'll run away, have a farm together?" She managed a small smile.

Cara gave a small laugh. It was a ridiculous image. Cara and Kahlan on a farm together. "I'll tell them I've already done your training for today. I'll come for you at nightfall. Be ready. I'll make sure no one disturbs you." She kissed the top of her head. She left her alone.

Cara's thoughts were a jumbled mess. Was Kahlan speaking the truth? Did she mean what she said? Kahlan hadn't been broken, but she'd been tortured for weeks, it was bound to have some affect. But how much? What if Richard showed up to rescue her? Would Kahlan remember she had loved him? Was Kahlan telling her she loved her just a ploy to get her out of the dungeons of the Mord Sith?

Was any of it real?

It didn't matter, was Cara's conclusion. She loved Kahlan and no matter what she was going to get her the hell out of there even if it meant Kahlan went back to Richard. The thought made her sick, but the thought of Kahlan staying here and turning into a Mord Sith was much more harrowing. The idea of Kahlan wearing the leathers was alluring to say the least, but imagining a Kahlan who lied, cheated, stole, and had the kindness stripped out of her was an unbearable and unimaginable thought.

"This is what love is," Cara whispered to herself. Love meant doing what was best for the other person not oneself. She would make sure Kahlan was alright.

"Lord Rahl wants you," a Mord Sith said at the door, startling Cara out of her reverie.

"Very well."

Darken Rahl didn't beat around the bush. "Cara, you have been unable to thus far tame the Mother Confessor. And I grow weary of waiting. I'm having her executed at dawn."

Cara fought to keep her emotions in check. She felt dizzy and lightheaded all of a sudden. "My Lord?" she asked.

"You heard me. The Mother Confessor, Kahlan Amnell will be executed at dawn."

"But, My Lord, I am close to breaking her."

"Are you questioning me, Cara?" he asked, his voice sharp like the edge of a blade. "One really must begin to wonder where your loyalties truly lie."

Cara noticed Dahlia was in the shadows, her forehead bruised from where Cara had smashed it against the stone wall.

"You have grown soft, Cara. Do I need to break you yet again?"

"No, Lord Rahl," Cara drawled, her confidence back in place as the seedlings of a plan formed in her mind. "My loyalties lie with you and only you, my liege." She knelt. "I am ever your faithful servant."

"Your words mean little, Cara. Only by action can I truly know where your loyalties lie. That is why you will be the one to execute her." From the shadows, Dahlia smirked at his words.

"So be it," Cara said.

Lord Rahl dismissed her with a wave of his hand.

Cara resisted the urge to run to Kahlan's chamber and sneak her out of the palace now. It wasn't even midday yet. She had to wait for the cover of nightfall. But first she had some business to take care of in one of the unused hallways of the palace.

"You bitch," she hissed at Dahlia and punched her square in the face. The other Mord Sith stumbled back, holding her bleeding nose.

"You left me no choice!"

"You had plenty of choice! Stay out of my life!"

"Cara, please," Dahlia begged, tears pricking her eyes. "I felt you slipping away back into your weakness. I couldn't stand to see you fall. It was the only way."

Cara barked a laugh. "I don't need protection from you!" Cara pushed passed her and stormed off. She made her way to Kahlan's chamber an hour later when she had calmed down enough and her plan had been decided upon.

"Cara." Kahlan brightened upon seeing her, but her eyes turned anxious when she saw Cara's face.

"Dahlia has convinced the Lord Rahl that my feelings towards you have made me weak and as punishment I am to execute you at dawn."

Kahlan gasped.

"We have to leave earlier than intended. Two hours after dark." She gestured towards a basin of water and a cloth. "Clean yourself up as best you can." She produced a homespun, rough servant's dress that would cover her almost completely. A hood would help keep her from being recognized. "I will come for you two hours after dark. If anyone enters here, you must try to appear as docile as possible. Anything else may get you killed."

Kahlan nodded, fear clutching at her heart. "What if you don't show?"

"Then you must try to escape as best you can. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Kahlan sounded very small and forlorn. Kahlan's usual confidence was absent. Cara felt love squeeze her heart. She wrapped her arms around her. "Remember you are a Mother Confessor." She kissed her forehead and left.

Kahlan was full of nervous apprehension as dusk set. She had cleaned herself up as best she could and had put on the simple clothes of a Mord Sith slave. When night fell her apprehension grew and increased as the minutes ticked by. There was a high slit of a window high above and after moving around to various positions around her chamber, she finally found the moon. It was high in the sky. Panic flooded her. Cara was later than she should have been.

As she contemplated what to do, someone opened the door. It was Dahlia.

"Where's Cara?"

Dahlia smiled and Kahlan felt a chill down her spine. "I'm here to take you to your execution."

"It's not morning."

Dahlia laughed. "It was never going to be morning. Darken Rahl had his suspicions Cara might try something mad like helping you escape. So he had her followed and when she was caught red-handed, he threw her a cell and made arrangements for her execution as well."

"You wouldn't let her die."

"No. I wouldn't which is why I gave her a choice between her life or her death with you. She chose her own life, of course. I set her on a horse but an hour ago and watched her ride off into the night, abandoning you here to your fate."

Kahlan glared. "Lies."

Dahlia shrugged. "It doesn't matter. What matters now is that I bring you to Darken Rahl for your trial. Unfortunately, he didn't say anything about you being unharmed."

Kahlan felt her skill crawl with fear as Dahlia took a step towards her, a whip in her hand.

**Reviews make my day and let me know if the story is going in the right direction! They also provide me with inspiration. **


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